Pressures of a Perfectionist

(written by freshman me 12/09/18)

One semester down in my freshmen year of college. To say that I love college is an understatement. Especially when I reflect on the valuable friendships, lessons, and growth that has become so evident in my life. Yet to also to say that all of this is easy would be a lie. Yes there is great joy, however I have found that even beneath the glory of a Christian school, still there is the underlying power of pressure that I quickly have discovered myself facing this past semester. Pressure to be up to date. Pressure to continue on. Pressure to stay relevant, in style; to be fit, and fit in. Even unusual pressures of how “godly” I should make my life seem to appear. All of these pressures in my life have really just pointed back to an impractical claim of perfectionism that I have always seemed to strive for. As I easily see my own flaw in this, I believe I can boldly say that there are so many others who fall in this same category. Therefore, I want to speak to those who may struggle with this picture of perfectionism themselves. Personally, I came to a point in this past semester where I was entirely drained. Time and time again I recognized an area in my life that did not fit the profile of the person that I had pictured myself to be. So, I called my mom. With her wise words I realized I needed to take a step back. As I evaluated my heart, I began to understand how I had denied the Truth of Christ for the deception of the enemy. By allowing him to use the pressures in my life, I started to believe that I was not adequate, not enough, and not worthy. In order to break the deception of the enemy I had to understand Truth. To comprehend this, it first meant me claiming not an impractical life of my own perfectionism, but instead, to seek first the faultless life of Christ (Matthew 6:33). When I search for Christ, I view so inevitably how his life was not defined or measured by the pressures of His society. Yet on the opposite end, I see how the pharisees in His day were these pressures, they set their own standard of perfectionism, but never understood the freedom that was given to them (Matthew 23). If I am being honest, I then see myself relating to be a lot like a pharisee. Still Christ demonstrated a life not about himself but instead he humbled himself, he loved others, and built relationships. As I desire to break a heart that reflects a pharisee, I understand that I am called to live like Christ did. Furthermore, I know that my life is not about what I have to offer or bring because truly there is nothing. But God in His perfection explains that if I seek Him my ways will be perfect (Psalm 18:32). Again not out of my own doing but only in the ways that He uses me. Overall to turn away from a heart of perfectionism, we are to follow the example of Christ. I believe that this means that we should give up our pride, stop loving ourselves, and instead start loving others. As I did this in my own life, I found that by first pursuing Christ not only was He able to fill the holes in my own life, more importantly, I saw how He was able to use me for His purpose and His glory. I encourage you to find Christ instead of trying to find perfectionism. I encourage you to pray that God would only use your words, your actions, your hands and your feet in a way that would glorify Him and not yourself because then and only then will you truly be fulfilled. Verses to Reflect On Matthew 6:33 (NIV) But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Psalm 18:32 (NLT) God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect. Philippians 3:12-14 (ESV ) Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Galatians 1:10 (NIV) Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.